In a shocking press conference held on a porch patio equipped with a grill, a folding chair, and a cooler of light beer, legendary quarterback Brett Favre announced his return to the NFL—this time to challenge Patrick Mahomes and “show these young bucks how it’s really done.”
“I’m not saying Mahomes isn’t good,” Favre said, chewing on a piece of jerky. “But back in my day, we didn’t need all these fancy no-look passes and sidearm throws. We just threw it to the guy in our uniform and hoped for the best. Worked out most of the time.” Besides, if Tyson can go 8 rounds I can go 4 quarters.
Favre, now 55, explained that his decision was sparked after watching Mahomes complete a ridiculous cross-body, 40-yard touchdown pass while being tackled. “I thought, ‘You know, I could do that—maybe not as fast, or as accurate, or without needing a nap afterward—but I could still do it.'”
Favre’s Plan: “A Lot of Grit, and Maybe a Bit of Icy Hot”
Favre has reportedly been training for his comeback with a regimen that includes cutting firewood, throwing footballs through tractor tires. “People keep talking about arm strength,” Favre said. “Let me tell you, splitting a cord of oak builds more strength than any of these new-fangled resistance bands.”
While Favre refused to name which team he’d play for, insiders say the Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, and New York Jets have all politely declined his calls. However, Favre remains optimistic. “Worst-case scenario, I just show up in Mahomes’ backyard and we settle this the old-fashioned way,” he said, pausing to pull up his Wranglers.